I give up. I guess being alone has it perks since it allows you to grow stronger with your own sheer will. Whatever the case, I feel like my stomach consists of nothing and a constant anxious feeling is circulating through my blood. Whatever it is, it's so painful that it's almost a good feeling, which is hard to explain.

Yes part of me is afraid of being so alone but in the end it means I only have to care for myself, and not someone else. I don't have the responsibility of always checking up on someone. I can actually be selfish for once. But anyway, all this just concreted my original idea when I was little; I am never getting married, and I never want children. If someone likes me, they can, but I will not force them into a legal binding to prove themselves to me. I realize I might change my mind in the future since I'm still some what young but as of now that's my standing. Anyway, back to packing. I'll be living on my own soon, and I need to get things together.